dude i'm inner monologue high
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
