I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
