lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
