How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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