He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
