Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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