Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
