so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my being single is dangerous.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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