idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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