Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
they need to just BURY HIM!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
