Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot