I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.