I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
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i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
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Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.