I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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