At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
