I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
