is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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