Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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