margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
