woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
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And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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