How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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