I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?