giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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