Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You ruined the universe
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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