I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
