I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
All I want is dick and wine.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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