wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
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i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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