the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dear god my vagina.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
