just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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