I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
