I hate all girls vehemently.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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