do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
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my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
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My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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