so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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