Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
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