Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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