that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
