Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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