I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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