hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize