Moan for me like Helen Keller
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize