You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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