am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize