Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize