Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
