Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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