I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
