i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
