i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is Oprah even human
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
