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he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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