if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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