WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
