My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
