where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
