He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize