Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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