i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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