No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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