My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude i'm inner monologue high
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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