i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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